Providence
by firenine
Summary: Following the last moments of "Chosen," see the last emotions exchanged by Buffy and Spike, and the aftermath of the show.


Providence  
  
Authour: firenine Rating: PG Warnings: none Spoiler Material: 7x22 - Chosen Disclaimer: I don't own Buffy the Vampire Slayer, nor do I own the characters. This story plot is the only thing I can claim as my own and is in no way trying to infringe on copyright. So please don't sue me!!!  
  
A.N. This is my first Buffy fanfic. so be nice and review, thank you! Hopefully it isn't confusing. -------------------------  
  
It was over. I knew we won but there was an urge to stay behind and let it all come down on me. I didn't care about myself because I knew that the girls were on the bus and safe- that's all that mattered to me. Honestly, I wanted to stay here with Spike. Faith calls to me and tells me to leave but I can't just rush out without telling him something- anything. So I stay behind and stand before him with tears in my eyes. I don't know what to say except that we can leave and that he's done his job; he's done being the champion. He tells me to leave as well but I'm not going to, and he knows this too.  
  
I knew Buffy wasn't going to leave without saying something bloody moving to me. Of course I told her to leave but she's set in her ways, I can't change her and I'm not gonna try.  
  
"I guess it's fair to say that school's out for bloody summer," I say, smirking. I can't believe how incredible it feels to have this soul in me. It's like a warmth that won't leave and although it stung at first, the soul feels like me. I tell her to go but she just stands there like the idiot I know she is. Pet's always gotta have the last word.  
  
He keeps telling me to go, but there's something about him that compels me to stay here. I couldn't care less about the building or even death because I've earned all of this. My death wouldn't mean much. So I let my hand grasp his in one last attempt to sway him to leave. I swear, he was right when he said that he doesn't usually make decisions with his brain. He looks at me with this incredible look of awe and his hand suddenly catches fire. I wince and gasp as the fires lap at my hand as well, but it subsides. The heat feels like something familiar- it feels like he's sharing a soul with me. The pain is obsolete now and I know that I have something to say to him, not because it's necessary, but because I now know that I really do mean it.  
  
"I love you," I tell him, my eyes shining with tears. Time seems to freeze as we hold each other's gaze for that split second before he speaks.  
  
Bollocks, I told her to go and what is she doing, she's still standing in front of me. She's bloody perfect. But all of a sudden she decides to grasp my hand. I feel the heat within me and my hand starts to catch on fire, burning both of us. I hear Buffy gasp and see how she shakes because the pain is too much. Yet, she still seems to hold on. And then she says it: she tells me she loves me. I feel the soul within me just expand and convolute until every fibre of my being becomes filled by the feeling in her gaze. But then it recedes and something inside of me tells me that she's just being nice about it because she knows that she'll have to leave and that I'm going to die.  
  
"No you don't, but thanks for saying it," I tell her. Truthfully, I don't know why I said that. I mean, I've always wanted her to say it to me, but not like this, not because we would never see each other again. I see some of the brightness in her eyes fade and then I know it was a mistake to say that. I can't take it back. what's done is done.  
  
I felt my heart swell with happiness and I knew that finally I had met the person who would make the biggest difference in my life. Spike is the one I was waiting for, and he gave it up to be a hero just like he said before. My happiness is suddenly broken when he tells me that he doesn't believe me. My heart drops to my stomach, but there's something in the tenderness of his gaze that tells me he's not being sincere when he says that. I give him a long look before we both are literally shaken from our reverie. I know the building will collapse any time now but I don't want to leave him. How can I leave him?  
  
He tells me to go and this time I obey. I swear, something mystical in that amulet is reassuring me about leaving him there. Before I go, I toss him one last look that tells him I really meant what I said before bolting out of the cavern and into the hallways. The building is on its last leg and I run up the stairs to the rooftop where I know I'll have a snowball's chance of making it. My legs ache but I keep going and leaping until finally, I land on the bus. I made it, and we really did win.  
  
I feel like such an idiot for saying that to her. I can't say how much it means to me that I ever got to be this close to her and know her better than anyone else. I can't say how honoured I am that she allowed me to be this close to her and to get to know her so well. I meant every word I said that night to her. I really do love her, and I'm starting to believe the feeling's mutual. She leaves me with this sidelong glance that I'm definitely gonna miss. But my soul is telling me that there's another way and I feel the heat within me turn to a raging inferno. I'm burning up from the inside.  
  
"I wanna see how it ends," I say, laughing. Flashes of my most cherished moments blur before me and then I know I'm gone. I can feel myself start to disintegrate and it doesn't hurt, but it feels like forever until finally, I reach that place she was talking about. Heaven- I can't believe I made it to Heaven.  
  
The bus stops and I jump off, staring at the miles before us and then the enormous crater that was Sunnydale only seconds ago. My heart constricts because I lost him, but look at us now. We're an army, my girls and I are an army and I know we'll just keep growing. I squint amongst the bright sun and stare down into the hole of our city, just hoping to see a hand suddenly shoot up and grasp the edge. But I know it's impossible because it's daylight and he wouldn't have survived anyways. My friends talk behind me of our travels to come and I listen, but I'm still waiting for him, for a sign that I'll be able to see him again. Usually someone who dies will come back- here at least.  
  
I'm here, how could I possibly have made it here? I keep wondering if this is all a cosmic joke. But I don't think so. I see what she meant. This place is paradise, the epitome of a vacation. I walk along a path that leads me to a huge building of white marble.  
  
"Spike, welcome home," Joyce Summers says.  
  
I whip around and come face-to-face with Joyce. I just make movements with my mouth but no words come out because I don't know what I could possibly say in this situation.  
  
"Follow me, the Almighty are waiting for you," she says, leading me inside.  
  
"Who're they?" I ask her. An answer isn't needed when I'm suddenly approached by three huge figures.  
  
"We are the Almighty and preside here in Heaven where we determine the nature of your stay," the middle one tells me. These three figures are identical and are androgynous. I nod and stand before them as they pass the verdict.  
  
"We the Almighty find that you William, have acted in a completely selfless manner and have in turn traded your life for the better fate of man. For this, we give you the chance to leave this place back to earth where you will remain until it is time for your true calling," all three say in unison.  
  
I feel the corners of my mouth extend to my ears and I 'wahoo' before regaining some composure. I knew that I would get a second chance; the amulet just gave me that feeling of hope.  
  
"Thank you so much. You can't know how happy this makes me," I tell them. The Almighty smile and then in a flash I'm back, and I know where I am, it'll only be a matter of time before I see her to confirm those feelings.  
  
Peaches stares at me in astonishment and hangs up. He stands before me and just smirks.  
  
"So they gave you a second chance, huh?" he asks me.  
  
"Well I earned it," I say smugly, but it's true. I take a seat and continue to speak.  
  
"I'm gonna find her, you know that, right?" I ask. He just nods and crosses his arms, his own trademark smirk reflecting back at me.  
  
I turn around to leave, but he tells me to stop.  
  
"Take care of her," he says.  
  
I nod and walk away. How can I explain all this to her?  
  
It's night now and I'm sitting in the back of the bus by myself. Pressing my cheek to the cool glass, I stare out the window and the bus just passes the "Welcome to Los Angeles" sign. I know I'm going to have to see him, but it's only to thank him for the amulet. I look down at my hand. It's burned but strangely it doesn't hurt. Silently I hope for it to leave some sort of scar for me to remember Spike. I don't have anything of his, so I pray that this becomes an everlasting reminder of him and what he did for this world. Dawn stands up and makes her way towards me.  
  
"Buffy, are you okay?" she asks. I know she's only asking because of Spike. I nod yes to her and she makes me move over. Taking a seat next to me, she stares me straight in the eye and gives me her little speech.  
  
"You know, I kinda get the feeling that this mopeyness is because of Spike," she says. I laugh at her.  
  
"How perceptive of you," I reply, smiling at her.  
  
She reaches into her pocket and pulls out something small and metallic.  
  
"He pulled me aside this morning. He told me to give this and this to you," she said, placing a letter and his lighter in my palm.  
  
My eyes tear up and I try to hold it in. He never fails to surprise me. Dawn places a kiss on my cheek and leaves me to read the letter. I eagerly open it and am instantly hit with the faint smell of cigarettes. It reads:  
  
'My Dearest Buffy,  
  
I decided to write this letter to you to tell you a couple of last minute things I may not have said. I want you to know that I really do love you and that what I said that night was true. I really did mean it when I said that I loved what you were. Every good deed I have done is because of you and how you gave me a purpose to want to change. I am a better man because of you. Take care and know that you were the only person I loved with my whole heart. Even death won't change it. Take care of the Bit and all the girls. They've survived this far and I know you'll lead them well. I believe in you, just as you believed in me.  
  
Spike'  
  
I started to cry. So now I had two mementos. I couldn't afford to lose these. Looking around me, I found no better place to keep these treasures so I just held on to them. In fatigue, I finally gave into sleep and woke up hours later where the bus had just pulled in front of a huge building- Wolfram and Hart. We were finally here. Medics came rushing from the atrium and came to tend to the badly wounded girls. A woman looked me over but found nothing wrong and passed by me to Robin. I exited the bus from the back and walked into the building. Someone was apparently waiting for me and called out.  
  
"You won't believe what happened," Spike said. I think I knew. Someone up there gave him a second chance and he deserved it. All I know is that I'm finally with the right guy at the right time.  
  
I run to him and just stand there, astonished and so happy that I'm finally with him.  
  
"Surprised?" he asks.  
  
"Always," I reply as I grab him and hug him. The future looks bright after all.  
  
-Fin-  
  
A.N. ugh. how was it?!?!? Please review and let me know. Joss was cruel to end it that way so I just continued it. Reviews are appreciated, thanks so much! 


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